Old Flame, New Fire
by Apesshipper
Summary: Susan returns to Community General, but is she welcome? Steve/Jaden, Susan/Jesse/Other, Alex/Other


Jaden Sloan, Nia and Isa Tremain belong to me. Grace belongs to Lora.

Old Flame, New Fire

April * Lora

Susan Hilliard walked into the Emergency Room and looked around until she finally found him. It was like she'd only left the day before and she tried not to run as she neared him with an award-winning smile. "Jesse."

Ripping bloodied rubber gloves off his hands, Jesse turned, hearing his name. He snapped off the second glove, sending it flying across the room. A nurse snatched it up and deposited it. Jesse glanced in that direction then quickly threw the other glove away, returning to Susan. "S-susan? What are you doing here?"

"I heard there was an opening for a scrub nurse." His scrub nurse. That's the only reason she came back.

"Well, uh, yeah, I…Did you, uh…I mean, it's good to see you, Susan." He said, trying to smile. It wasn't really. As soon as he forgot about her and what she did to him, she returned to his life. Why now?

"Admin told me to go check in with Mark. I…I just wanted to see you first."

"Oh, well…Here I am. I just finished up, so let me clean up and…well, you remember where Mark's office is, right?" He finished clumsily.

"Yeah. Jess, I really need to talk." She gave him the look that had always melted him before.

He paused. She was giving him 'the look', her look, the one he couldn't say no to. Could he now? "Uh, sure. Just…I need to clean up." He shrugged and left, wondering if she would follow or not. A few months ago, he would have died seeing her. She came back for him. But now he had Nia…or at least he thought he did. He couldn't hurt Nia. And he wasn't sure he could forgive Susan.

She did follow, used to the blood, and wanting to talk to him. He could make things all better; he always did. "I'm divorced. I guess that should make you feel better." She didn't say it accusingly, rather sorrowfully.

His pace slowed a little as he looked back. "Oh, I'm…sorry, Susan." He felt a little bad now, after the momentary triumph passed. "I was hoping you'd be happy with him." He said a little offhandedly.

"I never meant to hurt you. And there's no excuse for what I did. I knew that when I left. I'm so sorry." She looked pitiful.

"Then why didn't you come back?" Jesse said, looking to the floor. They entered the room and Jesse bee-lined to the sink.

"I did. As soon as I got up the nerve. This is so hard on me. I was so sure you'd hate me."

Hard on her? He couldn't take her back. He couldn't hurt Nia. And he wasn't sure he even wanted Susan anymore. "Then why did you come back?"

"I don't want to be alone anymore."

"Well…I can't help you." He sighed, flicking the hot water on.

"I understand that. I'm so sorry that I hurt you. I know things can't be like they were before…"

"Did you know that before you got here?"

"Of course. I just needed a friend." He stopped scrubbing, looking back to her. He didn't know what to say. He felt awful, but then again, he didn't know if he should believe her.

Jaden Sloan came in, blood on her gloves too. She'd officially had the week off from the hospital, but had been assisting in the ER for a friend that had the flu. She watched the stranger with Jesse and, removing her gloves, offered her hand. "Jaden Sloan."

"Susan Hilliard." A look of recognition came over Jaden's face. "You're married to Steve?"

Jaden nodded. "Yes. I am." She gave Jesse a look and started washing her hands.

"I need to go talk to Mark." Susan left hurriedly after being stared down by Jaden and then Jaden turned her attention to Jesse. "Name sounds familiar." She had started at Community General a few months after Susan had left, been going with Steve while Susan dated Jesse, and had never met her, but knew her. She also knew how bad Susan had hurt Jesse and how bad her being here now could hurt both Jesse and Nia.

"She's divorced now…" Jesse stated, not looking up. "She's my ex."

"I know. Nice of her to pay a visit." She was wondering what would happen if Nia knew that she was there. She would never tell her best friend something like that, but there were plenty other 'dragon ladies' in the hospital who didn't think Nia was good enough for Jesse and would tell her in a heartbeat.

"I don't know about that…I mean, I was…just starting to forget her." Jesse sighed. "Since Nia and I…you know."

"Are you going to tell her?" She let her voice relax a little. After all, Jesse was Steve's best friend and Nia trusted him. Given those few things, she should at the very least give him the benefit of the doubt.

"I should, yeah. I don't want her finding out from anyone else here. Where is Nia?"

"With Grace, working at Bob's."

"Oh, well, then I can tell her once I get off." Jesse smiled weakly, thankful she wasn't here today and feeling stupid that he had forgotten where she was.

*****  
Susan smiled, tapping lightly on Mark's open office door. It was good seeing her friends again, even Jesse, even if he didn't really want to see her. She was hoping he would, if only a little. Mark Sloan was on his way out as she tapped. He froze, not knowing she was back either. "Susan." He tried to figure out where Nia was and how to keep her from finding out, for both her and Jesse's sakes.

"Hi, Mark. I know you weren't expecting me, were you?"

"No, I wasn't. I'm on my way out. Steve and his wife are moving and I volunteered to pick dinner up. If you'd like to come with me, we could talk over soft drinks?" He had to get her out of there and fast.

"Oh, sure. I just talked to Jesse for a little bit. I was wondering about the scrub nurse job, Mark…"

"There are two nurse positions open, one in Pediatrics and one as Jesse's scrub nurse. I would like to make sure you and Jesse could get along before I assigned you there though." He looked at her, his expression showing he knew what had happened and also leaking out that he wasn't crazy about her being in either position. He knew he should trust her, if Jesse did, but it wouldn't be easy.

"Oh. Oh, of course. I don't want to make things so awkward that we couldn't even work together…I'll talk to him about it." She sighed, shaking her head. "He wasn't exactly in the mood to talk to me before."

"A lot of things have changed." And she had chosen not to be a part of them. "Come on." They drove to BBQ Bob's and Mark hoped the classic Mustang in the parking lot belonged to someone else.

"Thanks, Mark."

He nodded, walking in, and tried to hide his disappointment as Nia waved to him. "Hey, Mark." She walked over. "Jaden called in the order a few minutes ago. What can I get you and…"

"Susan." Susan smiled, completely unaware of whom she was speaking to.

Mark inwardly kicked himself for coming here at all. Force of habit. He could have taken her anywhere else…or even stayed at the hospital for that matter if he'd known Nia would be working, presumably for Jesse or Alex. "Susan Hilliard. She's one of our new nurses."

Nia stood there, stunned, and then remembered what she was supposed to be doing. "Cokes?" Mark nodded and Nia returned behind the counter, trying to hide her expression.

"You mean you'll hire me, Mark?"

He didn't have much of a choice. Administration had already approved her. "Yes."

"Thank you, Mark. This really means a lot. I knew I couldn't handle getting an entirely new job after my divorce. I needed friends." Susan smiled, hoping things could work out between her and Jess. He just hoped that he could forgive her for what she'd done to Jesse, like another son to him, and that she didn't hurt anyone worse.

Nia went back to the kitchen. "Grace…do me a favor?"

Grace turned from the grill. "Yeah?"

"Let me stay in here. You take these Cokes out to Mark. Believe me, you'll hear the reason later." Nia felt like a coward, but was pretty sure Grace hadn't heard about Susan. There was no way Jesse would ever tell her and she hadn't been around the hospital that much.

Grace frowned in confusion and took the drinks. "No problem." She said and walked to the table. She smiled at the woman she didn't recognize with Mark, politely, and set the drinks down. "Did you two order yet?"

Mark smiled up at her, hoping he wouldn't have to introduce her too. It wasn't really his place to tell the two most important women in Jesse's life who Susan was and it had been a very long time since he'd been that uncomfortable. "Jaden was supposed to call something in."

Grace laughed. "Oh, yeah. Sorry, had a moment there. Uh, I'll be right back with it." She left quickly. "Nia, who's that woman out there?"

"Susan Hilliard." She was going to leave it up to Jesse what, if anything, he told Grace.

"Susan Hilliard? Oh, she's with Mark, so I guess they're here about one of the open nurse positions at the hospital." Grace shrugged and took the Styrofoam containers off the counter.

"God, please put her in Pediatrics." Nia said softly, barely audible. She knew there were only two positions open and one was for Jesse's scrub nurse.

"Well, she's pretty. But Nia, if she does get Jesse's position, you don't have anything to worry about." Grace smiled and walked back out of the kitchen to the table, setting the food down.

She wasn't worried about Jesse. She could count on one hand the number of men she trusted and Jesse had been one of the first she'd added to her list. She knew, without a doubt, that he would never do anything to hurt her. She just didn't trust Susan and part of her couldn't get over anyone hurting Jesse as bad as Susan had. Alex came in and handed Isa over to her. "You wanna stay or go on home?" She had been working for him since he'd been called into the hospital and he'd picked Isa up from kindergarten.

Nia frowned. "I think I'll just go home. Let me talk to Grace first when she gets back, okay?"

Grace pulled the check off the pad and handed it to Mark. She turned to Susan. "I'm guessing you're here for the nurse position, right?" Susan nodded, smiling. "Well, good luck." Grace smiled, having no idea who she was talking to. Jesse kept all the pictures or evidence that they ever had a relationship in his bottom dresser drawer and only recently threw everything away.

Mark paid for the meals and smiled at Grace, not exactly knowing what to say and still not believing that he'd agreed to put Jesse into that situation. It was tough all the way around. Susan had already been hired; he could either put her with Jesse or in Pedes with Nia and Jaden.

"Thanks, Mark. See you later." Grace took up the money and headed to the register, putting the money in before going back in the kitchen to Nia. She saw Alex and grinned, saying hi to him and Isa.

Alex smiled and Isa grinned the grin she reserved for 'her family': her mom, Jesse, and Grace. Nia still looked a little shocked, but was holding Isa as Alex half-cooked, half-listened. "Alex is here, so I'm going home. Do you and Jesse have plans tonight?"

"No." Grace shook her head, still confused at what was really up with Nia and the blonde outside.

"Okay. If you guys wanna come over, that's great." She needed to talk to Jesse, but there was nothing she had to say to him that (a) wouldn't get passed around their extended family in some way and (b) couldn't be said around Grace. With her having a five-year-old daughter and him having a sixteen-year-old sister, plus the other 'family', very few things between them were private. Alex frowned at Nia's odd behavior, not sure what was going on.

"Well, okay. I'll tell Jess when he gets here then. We're supposed to get my licenses today." Grace shrugged and glanced to Alex, giving him a look that might let him know she had no idea of what was really going on.

Nia smiled. "I can't believe I forgot. Don't worry. You're gonna do great." It was the first time since seeing Susan that her smile was real. "I'll have to think of something special then." Isa waved goodbye and she left hurriedly.

"Okay, what was that about?" Alex asked the second Nia was out of earshot.

Grace shrugged. "Beats me. I mean, she didn't even want to see the lady out there with Mark. I think it's because the woman's going up for one of the nursing positions."

He looked out at Mark and Susan. "No wonder. I didn't even notice. I wonder if Jesse knows she's here yet."

"Yeah, I guess he should get to meet her. If she gets the job of his nurse, I mean." Grace cast a glance outside.

"No." Alex paused. "That's Susan Hilliard. She left Jesse not long after I started my third year."

"Huh? Why'd she leave?" Grace asked innocently, not even thinking of a romantic relationship with Susan and Jesse.

"She ran off with another doctor. Jesse got burned bad, for a long time."

She paused, realizing she had no idea about who this woman was. "How long did they go out?" She asked flatly.

"I'm not sure. Over a year."

"Really? He never said a word to me about it." She frowned, not angry at Jess, but just wondering why he didn't feel the need to tell her.

Alex nodded. "Jesse never talks about it. Everyone else at the hospital…but not him." He frowned. "That must be how Nia knew."

"Oh, well…I hope she doesn't get the position with Jess. It'd be way too awkward. What was the other position?"

"Pedes. I think Nia will be okay if she knows Jesse's okay and if Susan's away from Jesse, but Jaden will cut her into shreds." Jaden tended to become overprotective with her family, especially Nia and Mark, and despite not wanting to work with Susan himself, he ALMOST felt sorry for her. Almost.

"What do you think about her?"

"Well, I heard she was a pretty good nurse. I wouldn't want to work with her though." Part of him remembered Amy and could only imagine what Jesse must be feeling now.

"I guess so. She must have hurt Jesse. He's never even mentioned her."

"Yeah. Her timing stinks. I mean, with everything Jesse and Nia went through already, now this…" He remembered his friend's worry for his sister and his girlfriend when they were kidnapped.

"Well, I doubt Jesse will be very tempted. He's so happy with Nia right now."

Jesse put his car in park and hopped out, frantic that he didn't see Nia's car in the lot. He darted into the restaurant, stopping short and nearly ripping the door off the wall in surprise when he saw Susan. She smiled nervously at him, then looked back into her Coke. Mark looked up and wondered what was going to happen next. He'd seen Nia leave, upset although she was attempting to hide it, and knew that things were not going well. Jesse jogged to Mark and Susan. "Nia's gone, isn't she?"

Mark nodded. "She took our drink order, went back into the kitchen, and stayed there until Alex brought Isa. Then they left."

"Thanks, Mark. Hi, Susan. I wasn't expecting you to be here." He said nervously then slowly walked to the kitchen.

"Of course not." Susan sighed as Jesse left.

Alex looked up as Jesse entered the kitchen. "I think I need to get something from the storeroom." He left the kitchen to the siblings.

"Did Nia know?" Jesse asked as Alex was leaving.

"Why didn't you ever say something about her?" Grace asked, a little mad now.

"This isn't the time. Nia saw her, didn't she? What'd she do?"

"She left. I mean, she wasn't mad, but she was a little upset. She wants us to come over tonight. My licenses can wait." Susan and Mark left. Nia, in turn, had driven home, let Isa go play, and, refusing to give into her emotions, began to make dinner, cooking one dish each of everyone's favorites, an eclectic meal at best, but she would take anything to get her mind off Susan.

Jesse pulled up into Nia's driveway, having left Grace at work and arranging for Alex to bring her home if he couldn't return to do it himself. He jogged up to the door and knocked. She opened the door, biting her bottom lip. "Come in."

"Nia, we need to talk." Jesse walked past her and smelled cooking in the kitchen. He went in there.

She hated those words; nothing good ever came from them. "Where's Grace?"

"At work still. She thought we should talk alone anyway. I was really hoping to get to you before you saw Susan. She just came in today. I had no idea she was up for the position." Jesse stammered, trying to apologize.

"Jess, it's okay. Really. You couldn't have known. I got the feeling even Mark didn't know."

"I don't think he did, but…She's divorced now. I'm beginning to think I'm the only reason she really came back."

She rubbed her forehead slightly. "So what happens now?"

"She'll either get the job with you and Jaden or with me. And it'll be awkward, but…There isn't much we can do about it."

"Guess so." There were no words to express how much she hated this. She wanted to be gracious, to say that if he really wanted Susan, he didn't have to stay out of some misplaced loyalty, but what if she was wrong and that was what he wanted? She knew it sounded selfish, but she needed and loved him too much to give him up. Besides, why should she be the one punished when Susan had chosen to leave in the first place?

"Susan…she's not…" A bad person. He was going to finish. She wasn't, really, but he couldn't say it after what she had done to him. He smiled instead. "It'll work out, Nia. I just didn't want you to get worried about it."

She forced a smile while trying to make it not look so bad. "I love you and I trust you. I'm more upset about you having to deal with her being around than anything else, I promise. Okay?" This time, her smile, although slight, was real.

He nodded and kissed her gently. "I'll be fine. It'll get awkward at times, but that's it."

"It's not the worst thing that ever happened to either of us. It'll pass." She kissed him back. "Now go take Grace to the DMV and when you get back, dinner'll be ready and we'll forget all about this."

"You're right." He smiled and gave her a kiss before heading to the door. "I'll see you soon, Nia." She smiled as he left.

*****

Nia reached over to turn the fire down as she answered the phone, hoping that it was Jesse and Grace, calling to say she'd passed her test. She was surprised and a little disappointed to hear Mark's voice on the other end of the line. "Hey, Mark."

"Hi, Nia. I was trying to reach Jesse."

"He took Grace to get her licenses. He should be back anytime. Can I give him a message?"

"Um, yes. Tell him I need him at Community General as soon as he gets in."

She frowned. "Is something wrong?"

"Alex was in a wreck on his way home. It's bad."

She stood there in shock for a little while. "Yeah. I'll tell them." She hung up and, still in shock, waited for Jesse and Grace to come through the door.

About ten minutes later, Jesse and Grace walked in. Grace had the keys in her hand, playing keep away from Jess, until she saw Nia. "I passed. I almost ran a red light, though."

Jess laughed. "Yeah, but you still passed." He looked to Nia as Grace walked into the kitchen, helping herself to a drink of water. "Nia…Are you okay? What's wrong?"

She snapped herself out of it. "Mark called. We need to go to the hospital."

"Why?" Jesse looked more concerned now, as Grace came out of the kitchen.

She looked at Jesse and then at Grace and then back at Jesse. "Alex had a wreck. Mark wants you to do the surgery."

Grace closed her eyes and buried her face in Jesse's chest as he held her close, holding onto the drink she almost dropped. He didn't even take his gaze away from Nia, too surprised. He nodded. "Okay. Let's go." He took a deep breath and turned, leading Grace out the door. She stopped and unlocked the car, then handed him the keys, walking to the car. Jesse turned back to Nia.

"I'm gonna leave Isa at Alan's so that we can both take care of Grace. It'll take fifteen minutes, tops." She said, on her way back to Isa's room. "I already called him so I'll meet you at Community General. Grace can wait in my office."

"Are you…" Jess called then quieted as she came back with the little girl, "…okay?"

"No...but I'm better than Grace or Alex are." She looked at him. "Everything will be okay. Just concentrate on Alex right now, I'll take care of everything else."

"Okay. Okay, we'll see you there." He gave a weak smile and left, hurrying to the car and nearly peeling out of the driveway.

*****  
Mark met him at the doorway, Steve Sloan waiting helplessly, like Alex was his much younger brother or son. "Come on." There was an urgent tone in Mark's voice as Susan stood nearby, going into surgery with him. Jesse nodded and led Grace to a chair in the hall, tears were streaming down her cheeks. He smoothed her hair back before disappearing in the ER with Mark and Susan.

Steve watched, wishing he could help the young girl. "Do you want to wait in Jaden or Nia's office?" He offered, hoping that she knew he didn't want her out of the way, but wanted to allow privacy.

She shook her head, "No…I'm okay."

He nodded. "Okay. Do you want some coffee or tea?"

Grace looked up. "Tea's good. Thanks, Steve."

He faked a half-smile in an attempt to cheer her up and went to go get it, running into Nia on the way. "Where's Isa?"

"With Alan. Where's Jaden?"

"Working Alex's shift. I'm going to get Grace some tea."

"Green. Can you get me some too?"

"Sure." She smiled haphazardly at him, he hugged her, and she went to sit with Grace.

Grace looked up at her, smiling a little. "Hey."

"Hey." She hugged her shoulders gently. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I…" She hiccuped a sob and leaned into Nia. "I'm just really worried."

Nia put an arm around Grace. "Did I ever tell you that the first time I met your brother, I was a patient? Jesse is a GREAT doctor, one of the best I know. Alex is in good hands. And the fact that they were able to wait at least thirty minutes for the surgery is good too. If it had been very bad, Mark would have gone ahead without him. Mark Sloan AND Jesse Travis, I can't imagine two doctors I'd rather have taking care of me, can you?"

She shook her head. "But it's not that I don't trust Jess…sometimes there's nothing he can do about it though, you know? Stuff happens too…"

"I know. But I really think Alex is going to be all right." She wished that she could promise, but some things were beyond her control. "I CAN promise you that Jesse and Mark and everyone in that room will do everything within their power to help Alex though."

She nodded, wiping her tears away. "I know…"

Steve brought the tea back and handed one to each girl. "What happened?" Nia asked him and he looked at Grace, unsure if they should go somewhere else to talk.

Grace took the tea from him and said, "Thank you," quietly.

Nia nodded. "Thanks, Steve." He nodded, sitting across from them, saving what had happened for later.

Grace took a sip of her drink. "Steve…what happened to Alex?"

"We were chasing a drug dealer." He paused. He'd seen the wreck and Alex's car was completely destroyed. "Alex was on the inner lane of traffic and the guy lost control, went into Alex's lane. A mom with two kids was in the lane next to him, so he couldn't move over, someone was following so he couldn't put on the breaks...there was nothing really he could do."

"How bad?" Nia asked quietly.

"His car's completely gone. We got him out just before it caught fire. The mom and kids are fine; the dealer died on impact." He couldn't tell them that Alex had been awake at first, couldn't tell them a lot of it.

"How is he?" Grace asked, speaking softly again.

"I'm not sure. Dad didn't really say." He stood there silently for a few minutes. "Nia, I'm gonna go help Kels. You'll tell Jaden?" She nodded. "I'll pick some of Alex's things up while I'm out. He'll need them when he wakes up." He walked out, glad he'd finally found something to do as opposed to sitting, waiting.

Grace watched Steve leave. "He doesn't like waiting, does he?"

"He doesn't like being helpless. Alex was Mark's medical student, one of his favorites, and now that he lives at the beach house with Mark...well, Alex's dad died when he was first starting, during his first patient. He, Steve, and Mark kinda adopted each other." Not unlike she had Grace and Jesse had Isa.

She nodded. "I see. Kinda like us?"

She smiled, a little one, but a real one. "Exactly like us."

"Thanks, Nia."

Mark came out, looking tired and old. Nia stood. "How is he?"

"He's already doing good. We stopped the intercranium bleeding and it looks like there won't be any permanent damage, although there might be some temporary. He was lucky. He should wake up in a few hours. I'm going to make arrangements for all of us to be included in family."

"Thanks, Mark." She said as he nodded and left.

"He's gonna be okay then, isn't he?" She asked Nia, just to make sure.

"He'll be fine. Why don't you go wash your face and then when he wakes up, you can see him. I'll even go with you if you want or I'm sure Jess will."

She nodded, smiling, then hugged Nia. "Thanks, Nia." Grace wiped tears away again and set her drink down, going to the bathroom.

*****  
Susan smiled 'her smile' at Jesse, looking mysterious. "We did it. You were wonderful."

He smiled briefly before looking up at her. "Yeah, thanks…" Then he saw her smile, the one that melted him so many times before. For a moment, he believed things were the way they were before she left. She saw her chance to change his mind and kissed him, slowly, passionately, the kind of kisses they'd had before she left. He closed his eyes, suddenly forgetting about his 'new life' after her, letting her kiss him. He almost put his hands on her face, but suddenly remembered his bloodied gloves. Alex's accident. His sister. Nia. He broke away from her. Too late to do any good. Nia's hand was shaking, spilling the coffee she'd brought for him, as she turned around and left the room. He backed away from Susan, shocked at himself, and saw Nia run from the room. "Oh, God. Susan…I-I can't. I…I'm involved. I'm in love. With someone else. And I think I just ruined everything." Jesse said, then ripped off his gloves and ran out of the room after Nia. She ran into the bathroom, passing by Grace, avoiding her eyes so she couldn't see the tears, going into one of the stalls, and throwing up as she started to sob.

Grace looked up from the sink. "Nia? What's wrong?" She shook her head, finally able to sit up, looking like she was dying. She'd never cried in front of anyone before, besides Jesse and Jaden, and especially not Grace. Grace moved to the stall, knocking on it. "What happened? Is Alex okay?"

"Alex is fine. If you're okay, I need to go home." She rubbed her forehead. "I need...I think I just need to be alone for a little while."

"Nia, what happened? You're scaring me…" Grace said quietly before Jesse burst in.

"Nia?" Grace pointed in the stall.

Jesse walked over, talking to the door. "Nia…I…It wasn't exactly what it looked like…"

She stood, opening the door, and looking at him. "Don't. Don't you dare."

Grace looked between the two of them and quietly left the room. Jesse shook his head. "No, I have to, Nia. I'm sorry."

"I trusted you." She couldn't even look at him. "Leave me alone. Go take care of Grace...go talk to Susan or Mark, I don't care right now. I can't even understand how you could do this!"

Jesse looked down, closing his eyes, and then looked back up at her, lightly grasping onto her arms. "I know…I know. I don't know how I could either, but Nia…I wasn't thinking. I don't know what I can do to make this up to you, but whatever it is…I will."

"I don't know what I want right now. I don't know what to do, I don't know anything." She wanted to move away from him, but she couldn't.

"Nia, I love you…If I didn't, I wouldn't be apologizing like this to you right now, would I?"

"I love you too. I wouldn't be hurting like this if I didn't."

"I know…I'm sorry, Nia. I really really am…"

"You don't get it. I know you're sorry. I know you love me. I even know I love you. That's why we're having this conversation. I just don't know what you want me to do." She rubbed her forehead. "I'm going to take care of Grace until Alex wakes up, then I'm going home. We'll think about this when everything's not coming at us at once, okay?"

Jesse opened his mouth to say something, although he couldn't think of anything. He closed it and nodded. "Okay…"

She walked outside to where Grace was standing. "Everything's okay. You wanna go see if Alex is awake?"

She nodded, crossing her arms across her chest. "Yes."

"Come on." She walked towards the recovery unit where Mark was waiting. "He's awake. He needs quiet, but you can go in and see him if you want." He told Grace gently, but looked at Nia's face, still like her world was ending. She nodded and glanced back at Nia before going in. Jesse came out of the women's bathroom and walked to Nia and Mark.

"So he's really going to be okay?" She asked, tucking a strand of hair behind her head.

"He should be fine. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just a little worried. I'm gonna go see if Jaden needs any help." Mark nodded and, as Jesse reached them, Nia started towards pedes.

Jesse watched her leave, guilt weighing heavy on him. He turned to Mark. "Is Grace in there?"

He nodded. "Is Nia okay?" He knew Nia and Alex were like brother and sister, even before Alex started seeing Grace.

"Uh, yeah…We'll…She'll be okay." Jesse said, with little confidence.

Alex looked up as Grace came in. "Hey. You okay?"

She nodded and sat close to him. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just worried about you, ya know? How are you feeling?"

"Good as new." He lied.

She smiled. "Oh, good." She sighed, running a shaky hand through her hair.

"Grace, really…what's wrong? Please tell me something. Mark's keeping me so much in the dark I feel like I'm in a time warp. Talk about anything you want, really."

She shook her head, "I was just…I was worried. I was…scared. That something really bad was going to happen to me again, you know?"

He nodded. "I know. But I'm okay. Everything's okay. You're gonna be okay too."

"I didn't mean **me**…I meant…Like when Jesse got in the wreck or when Nia and I were kidnapped…Even when I came in here the first time…I just feel like I'm running out of luck." She shrugged, looking at her hands.

"You are not running out of luck, okay? I think you have more luck than most people ever dreamed about. Look at what all you've survived."

"Maybe so…" She smiled. "Are you really okay?"

"Nothing that won't wear off. I'll be back at Bob's before you know it." He smiled at her.

Mark studied Jesse. "I would never try to intrude on your life, but I do want to help, even if it's just to listen."

Jesse shook his head. "I don't know, Mark. I don't think you can help this time."

"I can listen if you want to talk. Steve always says I'm good at that."

Jesse shook his head and hid his face with his hands. "I kissed Susan…"

"And Nia saw?" He knew that Jesse and Nia had an open relationship, but didn't think that Jesse would tell her that.

He nodded. "Well, technically, Susan kissed me…But I didn't stop her right away."

Mark closed his eyes and then opened them again, looking at the open door to Alex's room. He moved away slightly, so they couldn't hear. "How bad is it?"

"Well…she knows I'm sorry. She knows it didn't mean anything, but she's still upset, which is understandable…I am too...she doesn't want to really talk about it right now…too much is going on, ya know?"

He nodded. "Well, I might have a solution to part of the Susan problem for you..."

Jesse took his head from his hands, looking up. "Yeah?"

"We switch scrub nurses. If we're ever in surgery together, we use Melanie. That way, unless she's at Bob's, you won't be anywhere near Susan. That is, assuming Nia calms down, which I really think she will."

"Thanks, Mark."

"Nia loves you. Everything will be all right. Things will sort themselves out, I promise."

"Mark, you can't do that…But I hope you're right…"

*****  
There was a knock on the door. Jesse looked up from the TV. Grace got up and answered the door. Nia stood there, not sure what she was doing there. She still looked bad, but her eyes were a little clearer. "Hey, Grace. Can I talk to Jesse?"

"Jess?" Grace nodded and turned to her brother. He was already starting towards them. "You can finish watching it in my room." Jesse told Grace as she left, turning the TV off. She closed the door.

"Nia…"

"I'm sorry." She paused. "Not about reacting like I did, at least at first. I forgot to listen to you. I haven't been the world's best girlfriend these past few months and I wasn't tonight either."

"No, Nia. It's not your fault. You had every right in the world to be upset with me. I would have been worried if you weren't." He smiled. "Oh, geez, c'mon in, Nia." He moved to let her in the house.

She walked inside. "Yeah, but...I know what she meant to you. And the fact that she was the one that started things should have counted for something."

He shook his head. "It's my fault…I didn't…even tell her about you until she kissed me…"

"There was no need to. Besides, she just came back today. You didn't have much of a chance to tell her anything."

"I had enough time to tell her I had a girlfriend. I…can't think of why I couldn't tell her. Maybe a part of me wanted to spare her feelings a little longer, which is ridiculous after what she did to me."

She shook her head. "We're going about this thing all wrong again. It doesn't matter whose fault it is or who did or didn't to what to whom. There are only two things that matter right now."

"You and me?"

"Well, sorta. First of all, the most important thing is that we still love each other. Without that, nothing else, including the second thing, would matter."

He smiled. "Okay, now I'm confused. What's the first thing?"

"That is the first thing. The second thing is our family. It's the first real family I've ever had and, next to you and me, it's the most important thing in my life. If we don't keep you and me and you, me, Grace, and Isa together, then we might as well give up now." She looked at him. "Am I making any sense?"

He nodded. "Of course." He kissed her gently, hoping it was okay to now. She kissed him back, glad that they'd made up, their first major argument. "So am I forgiven?"

She nodded. "For what?"

"For being a man. Giving in so easy to…her."

She shook her head, looking into his eyes. "When I said for what, I meant not only is it forgiven, but it's forgotten too, okay? No more talking about it."

He nodded. "Okay. Good. I want to forget it happened."

She nodded, hugging him. "We will. I promise. It never existed, okay?" It was hard to forget the small burns from the coffee on her hand though, a small reminder for the present that would soon go away as quickly as everything else had.

He nodded again, smiling. "Okay." She just stood with him, not wanting to be anywhere, not tired although it was after midnight, just wanting to be near enough to him...although she didn't think that was possible.


End file.
